What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Why do some people never get to on a date even though they wanted to? Are they just too ugly and weird for everybody?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

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What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What do you mean son?

Do handsome guys intimidate women or people in general?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What! how could you do that?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Why are most people broke?

True - how I loved my mum!

Do you know what she said mum?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”